Saving the Best for Last

In every family there is always a little competition amongst siblings. Be it looks, grades, parent's attention, or sports accomplishments...there is always competition. My family is certainly no different, with four boys and girl at the end, you can be sure that competitions were waged. Usually, the four boys dominated the conversations. My team made it farther in the playoffs; my g.p.a. was higher; at least I had a girlfriend.

We still argue about such things today. But we all overlooked one fact.

Our baby sister is better than us.

It's true. It's long been known and accepted that she was obviously the most loved by everyone outside our family. I'm also 98% sure that she has never been in trouble for more than 4 minutes with my parents. But, being the men we are, my brother's and I still held onto our accomplishments with pride. In some way, we were the best in the family. Then a month ago, the little sis trumps all of our ACT scores. Took the cake with a 31. And this past week, she became a state champion. Props to the Lil' Sis and her field hockey teammates on winning the Illinois State Championship.

For those of you keeping score at home, here's how it stands for the Lil' Sis:

Most loved...check.
Smartest....check.
Most athletic success...check.

At least I'm the best blogger in the family. (Until she starts a blog...)

The Crew Goes to UW Homecoming 2008, Ridiculousness Ensues

That always terrible lingering hangover is finally gone, and I've gotten a chance to sort out some of the happenings from my amazingly great weekend in Madison, WI. The whole crew was back, all 6 roommates, Big Bro, Lil Bro#2, a great group of lady-friends, a wife, a girlfriend...and supporting his Illini on the road, Whetst1.

There were many reasons for this to be a great weekend: it was UW Homecoming, my first time back in the Midwest in a while, the first time all 6 roommates were back in Madtown at one time, and a weekend full of 4 different birthdays to celebrate. After pickling our brains in alcohol for two solid days, the stories could go on forever. So I've decided to shorten it to a tally of events, and let you, the loyal F&BT readers, use your imaginations...

2: # of days in Madison
9: the number of bars we visited over two days, not counting repeat visits
1: amazing tailgate put on by my parents and aunt & uncle, including birthday cake
3: the number of times I went to The KK (fake one) this weekend
2: the number of times I went to The KK (fake one) in my entire college career. Why the difference? I honestly have no idea, but everyone seemed to be going there this weekend. And it was shot-tastic fun every single time.
1: Heisman Trophy winner seen at the KK (and his fullback from back in the day too!)

2: number of nights I ate Ian's Pizza late-night

2: number of nights I randomly ran into CJ while heading to/from Ian's

2: number of stories told about Muskrat at dinner Friday after his girlfriend (who was visiting/meeting us for the first time) asked for college stories about him

947: number of stories about Muskrat that couldn't be told at dinner, or in front of his girlfriend...ever.

1: unfortunate attempt at "Extreme Walking" by Fuzz and I

2: total number of face-plants we took before deciding our "Extreme Walking" prime was behind us

1: inappropriate dinner eaten at a way-too-nice-for-hoodies-and-baseball-hats restaurant by the crew

8: bottles of wine at said dinner

4: number of times I started to cry from laughter at dinner

3: number of times Fuzz had to have a conversation with himself so that dinner didn't come back up

547: number of "Your balls are ready at the bar!" jokes made by Lallycakes at dinner

2: number of phones lost this weekend

1: number of co-ed beds slept in by an alumni this weekend
1: number of times an alumni wet a co-ed's bed this weekend
1: number of iPhones ruined from being urinated on while in a co-ed's bed
2: bushes napped in outside a bar by a roommate during the game
3: number of roommates that actually went into the game, and made it to the family tailgate afterwards
1: number of roommates who still can't remember where they slept on Saturday

Overall, I'd say it was a great weekend. And if this tally didn't prove it, I have backup proof. My company made me take a "Health Assessment" today at work so they can control our Health Insurance costs. Coming off a weekend like this, the chances of me passing the "Alcohol Assessment" portion of the test fell somewhere between slim and Purdue's bowl hopes. Sure enough, this is what it spit out...."You reported an alcohol drinking pattern that would be of concern."

The "of concern" part was legit in bold. Well, no shit health assessment. I went to UW. At least I passed on part of the checkup...

"Congratulations on always wearing your seatbelt!" Damn right. See you guys next year in Madison for Homecoming '09!

Homecoming 2008 Awards!

Least Valuable Player: Tobnuts. MIA the entire weekend...and he lives in Madison.

Most Valuable Player: Whetst1. Not only did he come up to support his Illini, but he held his own with the young'ins all weekend. Plus, he had to sit next to me all game and listen to me yell "The Juice is LOOSE!" after every one of his picks. Props, Whetst1.

Runner-up: Fuzz. The weekend stories are never as good without him in them.

Most Ridiculous: Kenny G. He didn't pull out the fake saxaphone playing, but pretty much all his antics made up for it. Not bad for a lil' guy.

Ruminations on Week 7

The hangover was something fierce on Saturday, but at least I wasn't alone. The entire Wisconsin team looked like the last two emotional losses had caught up to them as the Nittany Lions embarrassed them on national television. I took solace in the fact that my buddy Fuzz was having a worse day than me...he attended the Arkansas at Auburn game where his first team lost; he watched the Badgers get embarrassed by Penn State for the second year in a row, and Mizzou got upset by a team coached by a man who is 40. Rough day for sure...drink it off Fuzz, and remember that next week is only 7 days away.

Here are my other ruminations on week 7 in the Big Ten:

1) The Spread HD is an elite offense this year. According to Lil' Bro #1, it's even better in person. The one question mark heading into the season was the quarterback position, and Daryll Clark has provided answer after answer. He looks like the most dynamic player in the offense and is the reason the Spread HD runs so clearly. Sure, the Big 12 has some great offenses and the SEC has some great athletes...but Penn State's offense can run with the best of them this year.

2) Minnesota didn't get the message. They were supposed to be terrible this year, but apparently no one told the Gophers. Yours truly even picked them to go winless in the Big Ten. Yet here they stand, 2-1 in conference games and bowl eligible 7 weeks into the season. Props to Timmay! and his Gophers. You did to Illinois what the Illini did to the Big Ten last year, and you've earned the respect of the conference, and this blogger, in doing so.

3) Sparty isn't sliding this October. Not yet at least. In the most important game of the Big Ten last week, Michigan State again rode the money-makers of Javon Ringer over an undefeated Northwestern on the road. Ringer wasn't alone this week though, as Brian Hoyer showed some veteran savvy and poise that gave Michigan State's offense a much needed second dimension. Ohio State looms on the horizon as MSU has one of the biggest October home games in recent history next week.

4) How did we lose to them? Really Michigan? Really? You're going to let a bad Toledo team do that to you in your house? How did this team beat Wisconsin? Things have certainly hit rock bottom in Ann Arbor as Michigan can't seem to put things together yet. Worse yet, they have yet to show any significant improvement from the start of the season. Other than a great 2nd half against Wisconsin (which will haunt Brett Bielema for a long time), Michigan really has yet to play consistent football.

This One Time on the Band Bus...

Is it me, or does the Wisconsin Marching Band make you think that all those band camp stories from the American Pie movies are pretty much dead on? The letter sent out by the school this week verified what we all knew was probably true...people got drunk and stupid on a bus like college kids do, and someone shockingly got offended. This isn't a post to make fun of the offended party...we're not that mean. No, F&BT merely wants to highlight the stupidity of the band members. As fun as the trip may have been, any time you have to start a story with, "This one time, on the band bus...", you should probably just quit talking right there. Unless you're as hot as Alyson Hannigan....then you may continue of course.

Alas, the 5th Quarter will be happening this Saturday night, as the band has been reinstated. And if you think about it, Brett Bielema has got to be the happiest person on earth. Of the two major home games which would be recruiting target weekends, to not have a band at either game, which adds an incredible amount of electricity to the stadium and makes the students exponentially more engaged in the game, would have been disastrous. Props to Mike Leckrone and Lori Berquam for getting the band back on the field.

Ruminations on Week 6

Another week...another brutal Wisconsin loss that I don't want to talk about. It's a good thing that plenty of other things happened this week for me to discuss. Here are my ruminations on Week 6 of Big Ten play:

1) Quarterbacks, Quarterbacks, Quarterbacks. Where to start with these guys this week? The Juice got loose, Terrelle became a man, and Darryl Clark did what he does. Even Brian Hoyer made some plays on Saturday. On the opposite end, Curtis Painter found his way to the bench in the second half against Penn State and Allan Evridge tried his hardest to get there. Tell me who predicted that both Todd Boeckman and Curtis Painter, the most experience/hyped QB's in the league would both be on the bench during Week 6 games?

2) Timmay! has a W. The Minnesota Golden Gophers have their first conference win of the Tim Brewster era after scraping past Indiana on Saturday. Brewster has himself a stud in Eric Decker and the defense is much improved under the Ted Roof (see what I did there? under the roof? yep, been saving that one). Granted, Indiana has regressed faster than Michael Richard's stand-up career, but a win is a win is a win. And for Timmay!, it's a first in the Big Ten.

3) Tiller is different on his way out. If you Joey T wasn't retiring this year and he still had recruits, high school coaches, etc. to please, do you think Curtis Painter gets benched in the second half last week? Do you think Tiller even talks about benching him the week before even though he didn't? I sure don't. I know from some good sources that Tiller and Kyle Orton had some major differences is style during Orton's senior year (Orton thought they were too conservative and was vocal about it...real vocal). Yet Orton never saw the bench, even though Tiller could barely stand him by the end of the season and Purdue's season had spiraled downward. If Tiller was retiring do you think Orton sees the bench? I'd bet on yes.

4) Alright, let's talk about it. Props to Ohio State this week, and especially Terrelle Pryor and Beanie Wells. Those two are a potent combination that rival any combo in the nation. But this rumination isn't about them, it's about my Badgers. This defeat was bad, but not as bad as last week. They were competitive, even Beanie came out and said he had never been hit so consistently hard on every play throughout a game, and they gave the UW faithful a great, albeit disappointing, show on Saturday night. I can live with losses like this....oh who am I kidding? That sucked. It leaves the Badgers staring at 0-2 in the Big Ten with arguably the league's best team coming next week. The biggest challenge of the season for the coaches could be to keep this team motivated...clips from last year's PSU debacle should help.

We've Got Ourselves A MAILBAG!!

Pop the champagne...we've got a mailbag folks! Our first ever question came from my college buddy "Ross Gellar". Now, typically, the way mailbags work is that someone asks us a question and we answer it...but every blog does that. I'm going to try and change this up a bit, and pose all questions to you...my 15 readers. Use the comments section to let me know your answer! And if you want to be heard in this blog or have a question of your own...email me at firstandbigten@gmail.com!!

Ross' Question: Which team in the Big Ten has been the most disappointing over the last 5 years?

F&BT fans...I want to know what you think. Look for my answer to this question in the near future, but in the meantime...give Ross' answer to his own question a little thought. Forewarning, Ross Gellar is a Badger fan and sent this in on Saturday after Michigan did something terrible to the Badgers. Enjoy.

Ross' Answer:
There are so many ways to subjectively consider this question. Look at some of the worst performing teams over the past 5 years and you could say that Indiana or Northwestern have been the most disappointing. Minnesota's 1-11 season last year was terrible and disappointing for their fans. And certainly, Ohio State laying two eggs in the last two national championship games is disappointing for the entire Big Ten. Those are persuasive arguments.

But how is Wisconsin simply not the most disappointing program in the last five years. In 2005, this team lost to Northwestern and then had two, count 'em, two opportunities to go to the Rose Bowl. Both were losses in back to back weeks to Penn State and Iowa. The year before that it was the same story. Go to Michigan State and win and you go to Pasadena at worst. In consecutive weeks they choked!

And the 2003 team underperformed its way to 7-6 record.

Last year, the team was ranked in the top 5 (admittedly way overrated, but isn't not living up to a high ranking the definition of sports disappointment?) and lost in a cataclysmic manner in Illinois. Then they got waxed in State College the next week. Show you are a second-class citizen in the Big Ten by losing to Ohio State and you have yourself a berth in the Outback Bowl (which you lose to a declining program in Tennessee). Fantastic.

Today's loss to Michigan is really just a continuation of the past 4 years. This team was given a golden opportunity...a loss by OSU opened the door for them to beat a down Michigan team then have the Big Ten's other best teams at their place. But, in typical Wisconsin fashion, we can't win the big game.

You might interject right now, haven't they won 3 Rose Bowls in the last 15 years? Yes that's true. But we haven't sniffed the Rose or any other BCS bowl since the 1999 season. Every time we have, we have had a massive meltdown. So, I don't define disappointment as being terrible (Indiana, Northwestern or Minnesota) or getting to a championship game and then choking. Hey, at least Buckeye fans got to spend their December's under the (misguided) belief that they had a championship caliber team on their hands! With the Badgers, we are good enough to have the opportunities but never quite good enough to actually seize them.

That's why, in my opinion, the University of Wisconsin has been the most disappointing program in the Big Ten in the last 5 years. And don't get me started with why...I think it boils down to not having a playmaker at the most important position on the field. Sorgi, Stocco, Donovan, Evridge....game manager, game manager, game manager. Give me someone who can win the big game, not just get me there!!!

The Journey: J Leman Refuses to Give It Up

Am I wrong? Is it not weird that he's all over this show? The guy was a great player last year, and certainly deserved to be honored as one of the school's 10 best linebackers on Saturday...but what in the name of Glenn Mason is he doing on this TV show again? (sidenote: Glenn Mason is an announcer for the BTN now. Do you think he rubs it in people's faces in Minnesota when he eventually goes there for a game? Do you think the BTN ever assigns him to a Gopher game? I would definitely watch Mason talk about how far Minny has fallen since he left and Timmay! took over.) Anyway, the interview with Leman wouldn't have been bad at the alumni luncheon...if that was the first time we saw him. But good ol' J managed to make his own uninvited, incredibly awkward entrance in the scene where the equipment manager was comparing the old-school helmets to the current ones. Leman just sort of walked into the picture, out of nowhere, stood there, smiled, and gave his qualified approval of the old-school uniforms. All this after showing up in the intro of the first episode to talk about the 2007 season and what he expects from the 2008 Illini. My big thing is, why?

This isn't 2007. I feel bad for Leman that he's not on an NFL roster right now, but showing up on a BTN program at your old school on a weekly basis is like going on The Surreal Life to revive your acting career...it's nothing but downhill. Just like the Surreal Life cast members are pretty much doomed to only appearances on other terrible VH1 shows (Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, anyone?), J Leman may be doomed to nothing more than a college legend that couldn't let go. This guy should be working to shape the next phase of his career or life, not hanging on to a team and program that is clearly moving on without him. And that's what it seems like Leman is doing, hanging on. It's fine if he is there to work out while waiting for another shot at the NFL, or if he's getting enough credits for his degree. But J, please...please!...try to avoid the cameras that are following the team. It makes you look a little sad, and takes some of the luster off your great college career.

On the other hand, I almost would love the show even more if the BTN kept showing him every week...kind of in the way that you cheer for crashes in NASCAR.

Other quick-hit thoughts from this weeks show:
1) Juice Williams is a dad? I legitimately did not know this. Also, did anyone else get the feeling that his girlfriend let him get away with not doing many of the chores just because she knows a payday is coming sometime soon?
2)The Zooker says "dad-gum" quite often. Pretty much in every speech he gave, it was "dad-gum this" or "dad-gum that". Does he never swear in general or is he simply just aware of the cameras?
3) Those throwback unis were sweet. I feel like this is true for a lot of teams, and makes you wonder why some teams ever upgraded in the first place?
4) The Zooker was dead-on in his speeches at halftime and after the game. The guy is a great motivator and certainly knew exactly how to handle those situations. Props.