An Idiot's View of the Big Ten Conference

While trying not to shamelessly plug our own website, I was looking through the "Big Ten News" section on the right side of F&BT today, when I noticed an absolutely ridiculous headline...

How To Overhaul Big Ten Football!

Over at the Bleacher Report, they have an article up today about what the Big Ten needs to do avoid becoming irrelevant in the world of college football. What?! First of all, this is a ridiculous idea to write about, as the Big Ten is about as far from irrelevant as it can get. Just because the rest of the country hates us, doesn't make us irrelevant...it makes us hated. But as a fan of any team who has stayed on top too long will tell you, being hated makes you as relevant as ever.

For those of you who were too lazy to click on the link, I'll sum up the recommendations of this idiot writer:

1) Add Notre Dame to the Big Ten
2) Split into 2 divisions and have a title game
3) Re-invest profits from the Big Ten Network into high-school and junior high football programs throughout the Midwest, hold summer camps, and build up a talent base from the bottom up.

The first 2 are patently absurd to me. The 3rd one makes sense. For argument's sake, let's go through them one-by-one.

First, Notre Dame. This is an old argument from people who don't know jack about the history of the Big Ten. We tried. They didn't want to join. End of story. If anything, they would join the Big East, the conference in which all their other sports are affiliated. Also, Jim Delany has stated numerous times that adding a 12th team is not on the horizon....so this whole argument is pretty stupid. The writer's idea was that since both ND and the BT were down, they could join forces and revive themselves. This is as ass-backwards an argument that I can think of, but that should be expected from someone who obviously doesn't know much about the Big Ten.

If that wasn't bad enough, this guy also wants to hold a Conference Championship game. Why? So we don't have as long of a layoff between our final game and the bowl game? To make more money? While both might make sense, the only realistic reason would be the money. But we have the BTN now, and that should be enough to tide us over for a while. The whole myth about too long of a layoff is a common excuse for the team that has pulled 2 straght Suck-Jobs in the NC game. Also, and this is key here, but why would we want to guarantee another loss for one of our top 2 teams in their last game? The Big Ten has put 2 teams into the BCS numerous times over the last 10 years, probably as often as any conference out there. Why would we change that? The payout from going to multiple BCS games will make up for the lost money from a Conference Championship game, so the money argument is gone.

Finally, the 3rd point actually makes sense, and it is the smartest thing that this guy said in the entire article. Investing in the youth of our country is never a bad thing, especially when it involves a great sport such as football that can teach kids life-long lessons. Cultivating the talent in the Midwest is one thing, but helping develop that talent from a young age is another thing. Clearly, the South and West Coast have figured this out. Granted, their climate lends itself to spring football (hard to play when it's snowing in March!), but the Midwest states can do more to create talent. I'm all for this part of the plan.

But when it comes down to it, the reason we all love the Big Ten is the vast amount of traditions and historic nature of the conference. Three yards and a cloud of dust. Football at its purest, slowly being assimilated by advanced idealogies. Football in the cold weather, football in the rain, football as it was meant to be played. This is what is great about the Big Ten. This is why I love it. And I firmly believe that the Big Ten will come back to dominate the college football landscape at some time, and hopefully sometime soon. As with everything in life, conference strength is cyclical, and the Big Ten happens to be in a down cycle. But the pieces to bring us back to the top are getting in place. A lot of the struggle can be attributed to coaching turnover. In the last 4 years, the following schools have gotten/will be getting new coaches: Illinois, Purdue, Northwestern, Wisconsin, Michigan, Michigan State, Indiana, Minnesota. That is 8 out of 11 teams in 4 years, and when there is that much turnover in a conference...it is bound to struggle. The good news is that a plethora of good recruiters/excellent coaches have entered the league, and within a few years, will be fielding excellent teams that are sound fundamentally and more athletic than we're used to seeing. And when it all comes to fruition, I'll watch with a sh_t-eating grin as the ESPN pundits say the SEC/Big12/Pac-10 need to rework their structure.

For now, I'll keep my Big Ten as it is. And if you don't like it, move to the South like all the other idiots.

A Long Awaited Wisconsin Article

Many of you have been asking me about my thoughts on the Badgers this year, and more specifically about the coaching staff. Ross Gellar has sent a few emails, Sober sent a text or two, even my dad has been bugging me to put my thoughts down about the Badgers. Surprisingly, Fuzz has been noticeably absent in his phone calls and emails on Saturday mornings, but then again I haven't actually heard from him since he disappeared on Saturday night of Homecoming weekend in Madison. So, what do I think of Bret Bielema and the 2008 Wisconsin football team so far?

Keep your pants on folks, this season ain't over yet.

I think it's always a little ridiculous to start judging a team/coach in the middle of the year, because a million things can happen throughout the course of a college football season. With that said, for those of you calling for Bielema's head....shut up. This is not the SEC. We do not murder people over a football game. We do not fire coordinators 6 weeks into a season. We do not run coaches out of town when they are/or should be legends (technically, Lloyd Carr retired and was o.k. doing that). So for those of you calling for Bielema's head after the losses this year...shut up. The guy is a good football coach. He's learning how to be a great one. I'm willing to let him learn.

Now, has it been frustrating as ever to watch some of these games? Absolutely. I couldn't talk for a few hours after both the Michigan and Michigan State games. Both were just inexcusable losses. And yes, they can be blamed on the coaches. But neither loss was a fireable offense, especially when you're only 38 years old and have an absurd career winning percentage. Right now, Bielema is not the best coach in the Big Ten. In fact, he may be the second worst in the Big Ten this season, ahead of only an overmatched Bill Lynch at Indiana. But good things are happening around the program, and Bielema should get credit for those things too. It's all part of the humbling learning process that head coaches go through. Bielema just happens to be going through his on a much bigger stage than most.

So for now, keep your pants on Badger fans. This season is not over yet, and a 7-5 Alamo Bowl appearance is not the end of the world. So what is going well right now for the Badgers?

1) The receiving core is developing and turning into a force. Behind MY BOY! #85 David Gilreath, and my future BOY! #1 Nick Toon...the Badger receiving core is beginning to make some plays. Not too much was expected at the beginning of the year out of this group, but they sure have come on strong in recent weeks. Nick Toon finally got a chance and his play has earned him the opportunities that he continues to capitalize on every week. Gilreath showed tons of potential last year, and looked legit in the spring, but was slow out of the gates this year. But after his amazing touchdown catch at the end of the Michigan game, he has been nothing short of great for the Badgers. One thing to remember, is that this is an extremely young group, and while their development may have seemed slow this year, they are developing...and they will soon be an asset to the Badger O.

2) Injuries haven't crippled either side of the ball when they have occurred. Injuries are inevitable in college football, and in past seasons they have decimated the Badgers offense or defense (i.e. Anthony Davis back in the day, PJ last year, WR/CB/DL last year). This year, that hasn't been the case...and you can credit that to coaching and recruiting. Think about all the players that have missed time this year due to injuries. Jonathon Casillas, Mario Goins, Aaron Henry, Kirk DeCremer, Gabe Carimi, Kraig Urbik, Eric Vanden Huevel, PJ Hill, Chris Pressley, Lance Kendricks, Travis Beckum. That's quite the list. And while you can argue that the UW season has been disappointing and that with all those players healthy they would be better...that's just not realistic. In previous years, losing all those players (especially leaders like Casillas and Beckum) for any amount of time would have crippled the Badgers. That is not the case this year. UW is by no means a great team, but it is not because there has been a huge dropoff when backups have had to come in the game. The depth is much improved, and it is mostly young players providing that depth.

3) Wisconsin has a legit rivalry that is getting better and better by the minute this week. In case you didn't know, the most played rivalry in college football resumes this week...and finally, it has the feel of a rivalry again. Minnesota football is back, and Brewster is not downplaying the importance of this game. He tried to build it up last year, and while it didn't work out then, he set the foundation for the incredibly awesome back-and-forth that is going on this week. For the uneducated, last year Timmay! said that he'd be the first one to sprint across the field and grab Paul Bunyan's Axe when Minnesota won. After UW prevailed, Bret Bielema was the one sprinting across the field to shake Brewster's hand for about .2 seconds. Brewsters son talked trash after the game, even though he didn't play and his team lost. Bielema then came out and gave probably his best line to date as a head coach, "You want a rivalry? You got one!" Damn right Bret. That only set up this year, when Gabe Carimi said that he hates Minny, simply because he is from Wisconsin. Rumors are spreading that the Badgers may put the Axe behind Minny's bench (not the norm for the losing team to have it on their bench) just so the Badger players can sprint into the MN sideline and grab it again. Add in a few recruiting battles over the past two years, two competitive teams...and you've got yourself a rivalry.

Enjoy it Badger fans. And keep your pants on too.

Ruminations on Week 11

Not quite as exciting finishes this week, but there were certainly some shocking results to this weeks Big Televen football games. Indiana again proved to be the best medicine for any struggling team this year, and the weather finally became a factor in some games. As the bowl picture starts to take shape, here are some ruminations on Week 11:

1) Bye-Bye BCS Championship. Iowa played the role that they have become so good at in the last few years...spoiler. Penn State, the Big Ten's best and only shot at the BCS National Championship game, couldn't pull out a victory this past weekend, and their perfect season exists no more. On a chilly day in Iowa City, this looked like a great game to be at in person. All 3 of my brothers were actually in attendance, taking in the game from the student section. I get a call at halftime...is it sweet being there in person?

"Nah, we left at halftime...it was freezing. Iowa only has like 2
first downs, they're about to get blown out so we're just gonna watch it on TV
at home."

Good choice guys. Seriously, storming the field like that would not have been fun at all. I'm sure your living room was going crazy.

2) My respect for Pat Fitzgerald went through the roof. Watching the beginning of the ESPN broadcast, they showed Fitzgerald in the pre-game firing up his players. Two words summed it up for me...passionately intense. Even I was getting fired up listening to Fitzgerald scream "Thata way 72! Thata way to fire off the ball, 72! Big Ten Football...FIRE OFF THE BALL!!" I tell you what, Pat Fitzgerald will be one of the best coaches to ever roam a Big Ten sideline by the time he's done. He got the job too early, under the worst circumstances anyone could imagine, but there is no one better for the Northwestern job than him. I thought it 3 years ago, I think it even more today. He'll find a way to be great. The guy loves football. The guy bleeds purple. The guy just gets it. Watching that game, NU came out ready to play, they just couldn't stop the big play. The defense was fired up and laying the wood. They just couldn't get off the field. Offensively, they got too predictable with a backup QB and 3rd string RB. What offense wouldn't? Eventually, Ohio State's talent proved to be too much, but here's to thinking that Fitzgerald's intense passion closes that gap.

3) Not even Timmay! is immune from the big-loss hangover. College football is about the only place where the older you get...the easier it is to get rid of a hangover. Minnesota certainly was entitled to their share of a hangover following that brutal loss to Northwestern. But Timmay! and the Gopher coaches had a great chance to get the team pumped up to take advantage of a down Michigan football team. Instead, the Goofers did what only FCS teams and Wisconsin have been able to do this year...they made Michigan look good. Playing without stud wideout Eric Decker, Minnesota struggled moving the ball all day. Weber was pressured by the Wolverine front 4, and the field goals UM kept kicking proved to be enough for a road victory. I thought Timmay! and his endless positivity would get his group up for this game, but it turns out that Minny couldn't kick the hangover in time.

4) The One-and-Done. It's not just a potent drink at The Blue Velvet in Madison, WI...it's also the working title on Ron Zook's Illinois coaching stint. From a magical Rose Bowl season serving as Zook's lone bright spot...to the verge of a losing season and no bowl game the next...Illinois football is stalling right now. This team has been the model of inconsistency all year, and Zook appears to be losing his patience. After the loss to Wisconsin, he called out his experienced players for making too many mistakes. After this loss to Western Michigan, who is left to call out? The players obviously are not picking up the teachings of this great coaching staff, and their player leadership is lacking. Worst of all, the players apparently don't like each other very much...as Jeff Cumberland recently broke Mikel Leshoure's jaw with a punch. Apparently homey don't mess around when you steal his cell phone. And if you watched The Journey last week, you know that had to be a huge punch to break that big of a guy's jaw.

Two Picks Say a Thousand Words

Well, couldn't help but notice my Hawkeyes and Wildcats in the college pick'em this week. And despite my competitive drive (and the fact that I got killed last week, dropping me to 2nd place for the first time in months), I can't help but pick both my teams...even with Northwestern down to their 3rd string RB and no idea who will start at QB! My reasons are twofold: First, to go against years of fandom for a free league that only 4-5 people care about would be blasphemous; and second, if by some miracle, both teams win after I make the "smart picks", I would hate myself, and it will make both victories a little bittersweet. These betrayals on my part would surely lead to me questioning my very existence.

Looking at the rest of the BigTen this week, I like Wisky over IU after steady doses of Clay and Hill break the Hoosiers. I'll pray the Broncos of Western Mighigan beat the Zooker, but I don't see it happening. I like Minny at home over a beleaguered Wolverine team. Finally, MSU will take care of Purdue because, big drum or not, Purdue sucks. Obviously, you know my two upset picks.

Illinois Football: Consistently Inconsistent

I asked Whetst1 to write a post about Illinois football and the current state of the program. I figure if he can sit through 4 quarters of me yelling about Juice Williams being loose, he can write a blog post. Enjoy, F&BT fans...

Thanks, Buckingham, for the opportunity to post my perspective on the state of Illinois football. Having grown up 20 miles from campus (and living there again now), as well as going to games for over 30 years, I guess I am somewhat qualified. Actually, I could write a 20 page dissertation on the topic, but I doubt anyone would enjoy that. I can sum up my personal experience as an Illinois fan as 'consistent'...I have been there through thick an thin, suffering through the O-fer seasons...often cursing my parents for raising me 20 minutes from Champaign rather than Ann Arbor or Columbus. I can sum up Illinois football during that time as 'inconsistent'. Good years and bad years, rarely able to string together any year-over-year success. Obviously that does not make us unique in this conference... I do find it funny how quickly fans forget how bad their teams once were (or perhaps they are too young to remember). Building a consistent football program is like catching lightening in a bottle. Everyone thinks they just hired the next Barry Alvarez, but it rarely works out that way. Who knows if Ron Zook is the answer, but given the current state of the Illinois program, he is exactly what was needed. So where do I feel the program currently stands?

Talent - on the rise and appears it will be consistently good. Illinois continues to bring in top 30 recruiting classes, year over year, which is what it takes to build a program. You can't rely on a single great class, as there are too many ways for it to fall apart (see Illinois under Ron Turner, or more recently Iowa). As long as Zook is the coach, expectations will be high regarding recruiting. Zook also needs to be mindful of chemistry (yes, Buckingham...Cumberland broke LeShore's jaw over a dispute regarding a cell phone...I think they misunderstood when Zook said we needed to starting fighting like Penn State and Iowa). And finally, Zook needs to remember to look beyond the measurables and recruit some footballers...Martez Wilson has all the ability in the world, but doesn't seem to like to hit people or tackle...kind of important for a linebacker.

Consistency in Effort and Execution - work in progress. I don't think many of the fans I know are surprised at how this season is playing out. Coming off the Rose Bowl, losing the heart and soul of our defense, continuing to play numerous true freshman (I counted last week and at one point we had true freshman with him at both tackle spots, tight end, both wide outs, and both running backs)...explains some of the inconsistency in the present. Need one or two more years to find out if we can be consistent, without a significant drop-off from 1st to 2nd string.

Coaching - work in progress. Zook is not a game day coach (he shouldn't be allowed to do anything but motivate the team). He should hire an assistant to do nothing but manage the clock for him (when I win the lottery, I will be volunteering). Zook has hired a great group of recruiters, but only a handful of coaches. Our inexperienced coordinators make numerous bone-headed calls per game. As some of these assistants move on, hope is Zook fills the spots with some more experienced coaches rather than the on-the-job training.

Overall - Arrows are still pointing up. This is a fragile business and taking a step back in the right direction next year will be critical. It starts with Illinois finishing off this year with a win in a lower-tier bowl game. The schedule won't be easy next year, but the offense should be even better. If Zook can find some playmakers on defense, the pieces should be in place for a good year. Fall short of expectations next year, and we could be back on that slippery slope. 8+ wins with another bowl game and Zook has done his job, as far as I am concerned. But as a life-long Illini fan, I count no chickens...

Lack of Posts...My Bad.

Sorry about the lack of posts this weeks folks. It's certainly been a monumental week for the good ol' US of A. Electing our first African-American president is certainly a big deal. Also a big deal is that he is from Chicago. A.k.a a Big Ten fan...even though he wants a college football playoff. Anyways, he reps my home city, and I certainly love it.

Although, I don't live there right now. I currently live in the crazy part of the country known as California. And if I didn't appreciate how crazy it was, I figured it out on election day. On our ballot included propositions for the following:

- Same-sex marriage
- Animal rights for chickens and pigs
- Abortion (Notifying parents)
- De-criminalizing Prostitution in San Francisco

...and last but not least...

- Renaming the SF Sewer System the "George W. Bush Sewer System"

Welcome to crazy-town. The rest of this week I've been at a work conference, so I haven't been able to post, but Whetst1 has been working on a post about Illinois for the site. Next week the posting will be more regular.

Ruminations on Week 10

Another week, another Badger game that I don't want to talk about. It's becoming a theme this year...let's just move on. Although I will say, this was my favorite day of college football so far this season. You know it's going to be a good day when your team's game ends on a last second field goal at 1pm...and it's the 3rd best finish of the day so far. And to cap it off, Michael Crabtree went all superman on Texas' secondary with only a few seconds left. Was that not ridiculous? Not only were the idiot students running onto the field about 4 times, but the sheer enormity of the moment blew my mind. Against the #1 team in the country...at home...night game...lead all game and give it up with just over a minute left. As a Big Ten fan, it's hard for me to get real excited watching other games. But there I was, sitting in Lil' Bro #1's girlfriend's house, screaming at the TV..."NO F#*%ING WAY! NO F#*%ING WAY HE JUST DID THAT!" Yes. Yes he did. Props Mr. Crabtree. Here are some other ruminations on week 10:

1) I'd say that turned out "disastrous" to "quite disastrous". Tied at 17, under 30 seconds left in your own territory in a home game. Most coaches take the home crowd into overtime and use their stadium to their advantage. 25 yards in OT is a lot shorter to go than 55 yards in the last 30 seconds. But Timmay! couldn't resist. Go for the score, push the envelope, energize the fans in the stadium with a dramatic Homecoming win. Well, plan backfired. Backfired in a huge way. Backfired in probably the worst way possible. This had to be worse than the blocked-punt-for-a-touchdown-in-the-last-minute loss to Wisconsin back in 2005. This one will sting for ol' Timmay! and the Gophers for a while. Happy homecoming folks!

2) Joe Tiller has massive balls of steel. Looking toward his future home (almost, Idaho is close to Montana) for inspiration, Tiller channeled the Fiesta Bowl miracle and pulled off the ol' Hook n' Ladder to beat Michigan this weekend. The Wolverines never saw it coming, and why would they? No one has enough balls to call that play. Except Joe Tiller. Major, MAJOR props to Joe and the Boilermakers for pulling that off. It made me wish I was a Purdue fan. Alright I won't get that crazy, but it made me wish I was watching that game on television and rooting against Michigan.

3) Not the same old Sparty? I'm definitely biased in this case, because I was cheering against them, but how did Michigan State's performance not suggest that it was not the same old Sparty? Ringer never got on track. Yeah, he had two touchdowns, but they were gifts once the Spartans got inside the 2 yard line. Otherwise, he was held under 55 yards. The defense gave up over 200 yards rushing. The receivers had numerous drops. In fact, the only player that really seemed to be playing well for Sparty was Brian Hoyer. Had his receivers not dropped about 7 passes, his stats would look even better. Nothing about MSU screamed different to me. The only difference was the W. And that was a gift, courtesy of UW and it's overmatched coach Brett Bielema.

4) Bad week for a bye. Penn State got jumped in the BCS standings by Texas Tech after that ridiculous finish in Lubbock on Saturday. Penn State wasn't so much punished as Tech was rewarded, but it's hard to not think that voters easily forgot about Penn State while they Nittany Lions sat at home this week. Style points certainly went in Tech's favor, anti-Big Ten sentiment probably played a factor, but not having any highlights probably hurt PSU the most. Had the Spread HD been putting up 40 some points on an opponent last Saturday, I have to believe that PSU stays ahead of Tech. Either way, they're still in a good spot with a relatively easier schedule than the Red Raiders or Alabama the rest of the way.

Saving the Best for Last

In every family there is always a little competition amongst siblings. Be it looks, grades, parent's attention, or sports accomplishments...there is always competition. My family is certainly no different, with four boys and girl at the end, you can be sure that competitions were waged. Usually, the four boys dominated the conversations. My team made it farther in the playoffs; my g.p.a. was higher; at least I had a girlfriend.

We still argue about such things today. But we all overlooked one fact.

Our baby sister is better than us.

It's true. It's long been known and accepted that she was obviously the most loved by everyone outside our family. I'm also 98% sure that she has never been in trouble for more than 4 minutes with my parents. But, being the men we are, my brother's and I still held onto our accomplishments with pride. In some way, we were the best in the family. Then a month ago, the little sis trumps all of our ACT scores. Took the cake with a 31. And this past week, she became a state champion. Props to the Lil' Sis and her field hockey teammates on winning the Illinois State Championship.

For those of you keeping score at home, here's how it stands for the Lil' Sis:

Most loved...check.
Smartest....check.
Most athletic success...check.

At least I'm the best blogger in the family. (Until she starts a blog...)

Celebrating a 21st Bday...Family Style

Lil Bro#2 turns 21 at midnight tonight...a great big F&BT SHOUTOUT! to him. My parents and Big Bro drove out to Iowa City and surprised him at a dinner with all his buds, sort of a tradition in the family. Previous trips included place like downtown Chicago, Madison WI, and Oktoberfest all the way over in Germany. (seriously)

So, in turning 21, you'd think a normal college aged kid would ask for booze or just pull a Randy Moss and ask for Straight Cash Homey! But not Lil Bro#2. That'd be too simple. Nope, the lone Hawkeye fan/student in the family just wants some love for his team on the blog....and to have his family finally eat dirt now that he has bragging rights for a whole year. So here goes, buddy...

The Badgers suck this year. Go Hawks.

Enjoy it while it lasts.

Also, your Beer of the Month subscription should be arriving soon. I figured that would be a little more useful over the next 6 months.

The Crew Goes to UW Homecoming 2008, Ridiculousness Ensues

That always terrible lingering hangover is finally gone, and I've gotten a chance to sort out some of the happenings from my amazingly great weekend in Madison, WI. The whole crew was back, all 6 roommates, Big Bro, Lil Bro#2, a great group of lady-friends, a wife, a girlfriend...and supporting his Illini on the road, Whetst1.

There were many reasons for this to be a great weekend: it was UW Homecoming, my first time back in the Midwest in a while, the first time all 6 roommates were back in Madtown at one time, and a weekend full of 4 different birthdays to celebrate. After pickling our brains in alcohol for two solid days, the stories could go on forever. So I've decided to shorten it to a tally of events, and let you, the loyal F&BT readers, use your imaginations...

2: # of days in Madison
9: the number of bars we visited over two days, not counting repeat visits
1: amazing tailgate put on by my parents and aunt & uncle, including birthday cake
3: the number of times I went to The KK (fake one) this weekend
2: the number of times I went to The KK (fake one) in my entire college career. Why the difference? I honestly have no idea, but everyone seemed to be going there this weekend. And it was shot-tastic fun every single time.
1: Heisman Trophy winner seen at the KK (and his fullback from back in the day too!)

2: number of nights I ate Ian's Pizza late-night

2: number of nights I randomly ran into CJ while heading to/from Ian's

2: number of stories told about Muskrat at dinner Friday after his girlfriend (who was visiting/meeting us for the first time) asked for college stories about him

947: number of stories about Muskrat that couldn't be told at dinner, or in front of his girlfriend...ever.

1: unfortunate attempt at "Extreme Walking" by Fuzz and I

2: total number of face-plants we took before deciding our "Extreme Walking" prime was behind us

1: inappropriate dinner eaten at a way-too-nice-for-hoodies-and-baseball-hats restaurant by the crew

8: bottles of wine at said dinner

4: number of times I started to cry from laughter at dinner

3: number of times Fuzz had to have a conversation with himself so that dinner didn't come back up

547: number of "Your balls are ready at the bar!" jokes made by Lallycakes at dinner

2: number of phones lost this weekend

1: number of co-ed beds slept in by an alumni this weekend
1: number of times an alumni wet a co-ed's bed this weekend
1: number of iPhones ruined from being urinated on while in a co-ed's bed
2: bushes napped in outside a bar by a roommate during the game
3: number of roommates that actually went into the game, and made it to the family tailgate afterwards
1: number of roommates who still can't remember where they slept on Saturday

Overall, I'd say it was a great weekend. And if this tally didn't prove it, I have backup proof. My company made me take a "Health Assessment" today at work so they can control our Health Insurance costs. Coming off a weekend like this, the chances of me passing the "Alcohol Assessment" portion of the test fell somewhere between slim and Purdue's bowl hopes. Sure enough, this is what it spit out...."You reported an alcohol drinking pattern that would be of concern."

The "of concern" part was legit in bold. Well, no shit health assessment. I went to UW. At least I passed on part of the checkup...

"Congratulations on always wearing your seatbelt!" Damn right. See you guys next year in Madison for Homecoming '09!

Homecoming 2008 Awards!

Least Valuable Player: Tobnuts. MIA the entire weekend...and he lives in Madison.

Most Valuable Player: Whetst1. Not only did he come up to support his Illini, but he held his own with the young'ins all weekend. Plus, he had to sit next to me all game and listen to me yell "The Juice is LOOSE!" after every one of his picks. Props, Whetst1.

Runner-up: Fuzz. The weekend stories are never as good without him in them.

Most Ridiculous: Kenny G. He didn't pull out the fake saxaphone playing, but pretty much all his antics made up for it. Not bad for a lil' guy.

Ruminations on Week 9

Homecoming 2008 in Madison has come and gone...and the damage was extensive. I'll have a tally of the weekend's events up soon, but for now, just know that it was a great weekend. All the old college crew was back, and the parents even brought a cake to celebrate my birthday at the tailgate. Due to obscene amounts of drinking, this is the first weekend that I didn't see any other Big Ten games than the Badgers, so my ruminations are based entirely on box scores and game recaps...

1) Defense is still king in the Big Ten. Forget all these new spread offenses taking over the league, defense is all the rage in the Big Ten. For evidence, see Penn State at Ohio State on Saturday night in the Most Important Big Ten Game this week. Ohio State had the more hyped defense coming into the game, but it was Penn State that proved to be opportunistic enough for the victory on this night. Holding OSU to an average of 2 yards per carry, and forcing two turnovers by the phenom, Terrelle Pryor, the Nittany Lions kept control of their own BT Title destiny.

2) Bad day to be a senior. Travis Beckum, broken fibula, career over. Tyrell Sutton, broken wrist, career over. It's the worst way to have your career ended, especially when you've been the face of your program for a few years. For Beckum, coming back to school meant turning down millions in the NFL for a chance to play as a Badger 12 more times. With a pre-season hamstring injury, a couple lackluster games, and now a season-ending injury, his senior year can be considered nothing more than a disappointment. Both players should go on to NFL careers, and both will have a good shot a future success, but unfortunately for them, and even for us fans, it won't be on the Big Ten gridiron.

3) Little Brother is all grown up. Sparty finally got victory against Big Brother Michigan. Granted, Michigan had to be at its lowest point in decades for it to happen, but a win is a win in rivalry games. Especially in a rivalry that coach Mark Dantonio has made such a focal point in offseason workouts for the Spartans. Javon Ringer got back to his normal self and Brian Hoyer even bounced back to have himself a game. But the best part of the day for MSU fans had to be the postgame chanting, as those in green rained "Lit-tle Sister" down on the home crowd.

4) Off the Schneid. Or slide. Or losing streak. However you want to say it, two BT teams without a win in the past 5 weeks got wins on Saturday. Wisconsin took down Illinois on the Badgers Homecoming game, and Indiana took down Northwestern on the Hoosiers homecoming game. Huge wins for both teams as fans were starting to become restless with the coaching staffs. Brett Bielema and Bill Lynch are breathing easier this week, but as is always in the Big Ten, another big game awaits.

SHOUTOUTS! New Header and a Birthday

Notice anything different with the blog? We've had quite a few changes in the past few weeks that I thought I should update you on, all of which help us progress towards the smallest hint of blogging respectability.

First, well...WildHawk is finally posting! He's been putting some good stuff up the past few weeks, so check him out. He's good for a post a week right now, but something tells me that he'll have more views to share in the coming weeks. Call it a hope.

Second, we've been added to the YardBarker Network. This is a blog readers heaven, with over 600 some blogs to read. Everytime we post, it gets posted on YardBarker now...so that's pretty sweet. They also help supply our advertisements on the blog, so check those out to your right and all the way at the bottom. We're not in this for the money, but anything that can earn us a couple pennies never hurt. Click on the Ads, support your bloggers.

C) Notice the title header? Thanks to great friend of the blog, and quasi-fellow blogger at Wrigleyville Confidential, Rollo Tomasi (a.k.a. The Mayor of Christmastown), we've upgraded from my pathetic MS Paint skills to the wondrous powers of Photoshop. Rollo even threw in a bit of his own flair...see if you can find it.

Fourth, a happy birthday to good F&BT friend Whetst1! He's not quite over the hill yet, but he's clearly lost enough brain cells in his age that he agreed to venture to Madison with me this weekend for the UW/IL game. Did I mention it's homecoming weekend? Look for some great posts next week detailing some of our shenanigans. I may even let Whetst1 write one. Either way, Happy Happy buddy. Get your liver ready!

Brewster: Hey, Everybody! Come See How Good I Look!

There has been no bigger surprise in the Big Televen this year than Timmay! Brewster and his Minnesota Golden Gophers football team, and it's about time that F&BT talks about them. This is hard for us to do, because the Goofers are a border state and BT rival of both WildHawk and my alma maters. But even for a rival, it's hard not to take notice of what the Gophers have done so far this year. It seems like ever since he has been hired, ol' Timmay! has been channeling his inner Ron Burgundy and begging people to come look at how good it is at Minnesota. Saying something about Big Ten titles and National Championships from the Paleozoic Era, Brewster was mostly selling hype. But sell he did, and a bunch of JUCO players were dumb enough to buy it. Dumb like a fox, as it turns out.

Taking advantage of a cast-off head coach, Brewster hired Ted Roof, the fired HC at Duke and formerly excellent d-coordinator, to come to Minnesota and revamp his defense. Roof gets a lot of credit here, as he should, but those dumb enough to sign on JUCO players have provided the biggest boost on that side of the ball. Brewster took the risk of alienating the current players by bringing in so many JUCO guys, yet he turned that into motivation for the current players to step up their game and in the process changed the culture at Minny. Suddenly, a potentially potent offense led by Adam Weber and Eric Decker have a half decent defense to help them out. Goodbye shootouts, hello consistent football.

Whetst1 brought this up in the comments on a previous post, but looking at the Fighting Timmay's! schedule...what game isn't winnable? Standing at 6-1, the Gophers go to a Purdue team that is struggling this week, followed at home by a Northwestern team whose offense isn't its usual explosive self. That is followed up by the reincarnation of 2007 Notre Dame...err Michigan...at home. Three W's in those games puts them at 9-1 with their two rivalry games ahead, @ Wisconsin and vs. Iowa, both of whom are not as good as they have been in the past. While you can never count on season records in a rivalry game, you have to think the Gophers would be fired up to get back at their rivals for the losses in the past few years. Scary to say it, but can we really be looking at an 11-1 Minnesota team?

For the love of Lake Minnetonka, I sure as hell hope not. That would put Minny in either a BCS or Jan 1 bowl game vs the SEC...scenarios which appear disastrous any way you put it. I know the Big Ten is down, but having a 1-11 team from a year ago reverse their record and go 11-1 and be 1st or 2nd in the league would just be embarrassing. It kind of happened last year with Illinois, and we know how that Rose Bowl turned out. Anyway, I don't think Minny has it in them to go 11-1. And here's why...do you trust them?

I mean really, really trust them? I don't. At some point they'll have to come back to earth, or they'll give up a few turnovers and have an off day. Plus, for a team so down last year, how will they handle success? If they keep winning, eventually they'll get noticed nationally and I don't trust them enough to handle that pressure. I'm thinking 9-3 for the Gophers with losses to Northwestern and Iowa, but ideally they'd be 8-4 and my Badgers could beat them too. Either way, the Big Ten is officially on notice that Timmay! is selling more than hype now, and the Gophers are looking to make a splash.

Cannonball!

Ruminations on Week 8

Another week of Big Ten play, and the title picture is coming into more focus. It's looking like Penn State and Ohio State are the class of the league, and it's hard to argue for anyone else. Here's the thing about these two teams, they show up for the big games...every week. Think about it for a second. Every team gets jacked up to play Ohio State...it's their chance to prove that they belong in the elite of the Big Ten. Yet Ohio State has only lost one BT game in the past two years. That's quite the streak. Other teams in the Big Televen have done a decent job of making it to big games and getting themselves to the point where they are successful enough to have a big game, but they disappoint. Northwestern had a big game last week against MSU...lost. MSU had a big game this week against OSU...blown out. Wisconsin had a big game against...nevermind. Here are some other ruminations on Week 8 in the Big Ten:

1) Yeeeaaaahhh, about all those articles claiming that Sparty isn't going to have their October slide.... I hope you were holding on tight Spartan fans, because I'm pretty sure Ohio State just pushed you down that slide. Actually, they shot you out of a cannon down that slide. The Buckeyes came out to play in the Most Important Game of the Week in the BT, and put this one away early. Terrelle Pryor found his running legs early in this game and put the OSU offense on his back in the first few drives, and all of a sudden it was 28-0. It didn't get much prettier for Sparty, as Javon Ringer got robbed, or at least had his "money-makers" taken away on Saturday. We'll see how the Spartans respond this week with Big Brother up next. The Wolverines are just plain awful this year, but with Michigan State, you can never underestimate the mental midget factor, and that could play huge this Saturday.

2) Winning cures all evil. Just ask Iowa and Penn State. Both programs have had their share of off-the-field trouble in recent years, but as the victories pile up, the problems fall farther into the distance. Just think, a few months ago everyone was calling for Kirk Ferentz head as he was being investigated for inappropriate conduct in a sexual assault investigation. Now...the Hawkeyes are on a hot streak and are back in their offensive stride with a dominant O-line and bruising back in Shonn Greene. A few months ago ESPN was calling out JoePa for his lack of control of the Penn State program. Now...they're calling for him to have the right to decide when he should leave. Turns out the saying is true...winning cures all evil.

3) The wheels have officially come off. Indiana and Wisconsin seem to have hit a pothole greater than any of those you'll find on I-94 in the winter. Indiana has lost their last 5 games. Wisconsin their last 4. Worse yet, both teams have seemed to regress in the last few weeks. Neither coaching staff seems to know what is happening to their teams, as their once promising seasons are crumbling before them. This much is true, both head coaches are up against something that they have never experienced in their careers...and how they respond will largely determine their longevity at their respective schools.

4) You can have your Quarterbacks in the Big 12...the best Running Backs in the country are in the Big Ten. Beanie Wells. Javon Ringer. Shonn Greene. Tyrell Sutton. Evan Royster. Stephon Green. The conference may have gone to more spread systems in recent years, but the running back talent in the Big Televen is unmatched by any conference out there. And the youth at the position keeps the forecast positive for years to come. John Clay. Jewell Hampton. Sam McGuffie. Jason Ford. (**note: I purposely left PJ Hill off this list. If you disagree, or want to know why, email the blog and I'll you.)

Wisconsin @ Iowa Game Blog: Battle for the Heartland Trophy

The Heartland Trophy

9:10am UW’s first drive gets a couple nice first downs, but Sherer was off the entire drive…hopefully nerves. Josh Oglesby is getting dominated on a consistent basis, which is not a good sign.

9:17am 7-0 Iowa. Shonn Greene got to the second level pretty much any time he wanted. Major props to Iowa’s offensive line, which had their way with the Badgers. They got a 3-4 yard push every play and covered linebackers almost every play. It could be a long day if this keeps up.

9:19am Am I crazy to think that the BTN is slightly validated now that both Presidential candidates are airing commercials on the network? Not picking sides…but we’ll keep score. Obama 1 positive, 0 neg. McCain 0 pos, 1 neg.

9:24am Kyle Jefferson doesn’t look the same this year. Just caught an easy out pattern in his chest and fell down immediately. It looks like he doesn’t trust his hands as much as he did last year.

9:25am UW O-line dominated again, as the Badgers can’t get a 2nd-2 or a 3rd-2.

End of 1Q 7-0 Iowa. It’s been all Hawkeyes in the first 15 minutes. Both lines are dominating the line of scrimmage, and that really will be the key today. In these old-school Big Ten games, whoever controls the line of scrimmage and limits turnovers usually wins the game. Neither team has a turnover yet, but chalk up the LOS battle to the Hawkeyes in the first quarter.

9:43am Sherer apparently has a problem throwing the ball away. That’s twice when he’s been pressured and pretty much thrown it straight to a Hawkeye. Note to Dustin…don’t do that.

9:45am Obama 2 positve ads, McCain 1 negative ad

9:51am Another overrated part of football, that Barry Alvarez used to stress all the time, is the hidden yardage. In these throwback games, special teams yards can make all the difference. Wisconsin is about to start their 3rd drive of the day at the 20 yard line or worse. Lots of punting so far, but Iowa is secretly gaining a lot of yards.

9:59am Shonn Greene just showed why Iowa has missed him while he went back to JUCO. He ran through a bunch of arm tackles by the Badgers, including from both safeties, and gave the Hawkeyes a 14-0 lead.

10:03am SHOCKER ALERT! The most fragile fat-ass in college football is hurt again. PJ Hill just limped his way off the field, and hopefully into a backup role for the rest of his career.

10:06am These announcers are excellent, and I’m actually really enjoying listening to them. They are correctly pointing out the little things that make a difference, like when Glen Mason says “Sherer is adding an extra pump before all his passes, causing him to be slightly late.” Or Chris Martin saying, “70,000 people knew where Dustin Sherer was going with that ball. He stared down Beckum the entire time.”

10:13am Travis Beckum…welcome to the game. Nice to see you finally appear with 2 mins left in the half.

10:14 Holy Shit! Sherer threw the ball away!! Wait…hold the celebration, penalty for illegal formation, our 2nd of the day. That’s on the coaching…how do these guys consistently not know where to line up?

10:16am Finally, the Badgers are on the board. In probably their best drive of the day, Wisconsin gets a field goal from Phillip Welch to make it 14-3 Iowa.

10:21am Bielema is calling timeouts at the end of the half. This appears to be crazy considering his offense can barely move the ball. But give the man credit, he’s not conceding anything to his alma mater. But he could give Gilreath a shot at one more punt return, which is always dangerous.

HALF 14-3 Iowa. Well, that certainly wasn’t the Badgers best half of football. The lines for Iowa are in complete control of this game. The Badger linebackers haven’t made many plays, but to their credit they’ve been getting covered up pretty well by the Hawkeye o-line getting to the second level. So what snap, irrational judgements can I make as of right now….Shonn Greene has too many double letters in his name, and he belongs in the NFL. Dustin Sherer is not a D1 quarterback, maybe not even D1AA (FCS). PJ Hill is finally where he belongs…on the bench.
Not to toot my own horn…but here’s some proof on my hidden yards comment. Iowa only has 30 more yards at halftime. UW leads in Time of Possession, by 3 mins and has run 13 more plays that the Hawkeyes. UW has converted 44% of 3rd downs to Iowa’s 25%. Both teams have 10 first downs. Iowa leads this game 14-3. Hidden yards are the difference in this game. Toot fucking toot.

10:47am Damnit Comcast…my screen goes grey for a split second about every three seconds. You have no idea how annoying this is. Big stop by the Badger D.

10:48am My BOY! #85 David Gilreath just got a seam…but got tackled by the kicker. I don’t think anyone in college football has been caught by the kicker as much as DG…but I still love him. Badgers have come out to play in the second half….and penalty. That’s more like it.

10:52am A pass to Beckum leaves the Badgers with 4th-3, and Phillip Welch nails his second field goal of the day. 14-6 Iowa. Now that I think of it, with as terrible as Phillip Welch was throughout the spring and particularly in the spring game, he’s my most improved for the Badgers this year.

10:58am Obama 3 positive ads, McCain 1 negative ad.

11:04am Another stalled drive in the red zone for the Badgers, but Welch proves reliable again chipping another field goal in to cut the lead to 14-9 Iowa. UW is looking much improved, but field goals will not win this game. We need some tugs.

11:08am Personal foul on Casillas the thug for late hit on the passer. I swear to you, there is no dumber player in the Big Ten than Jonathon Casillas. Not book smarts, but just general stupidity. He is second on my list behind PJ Hill of people I hate that everyone else loves.

11:10am Shonn Greene. Touchdown. Demoralizing is an understatement. The Hawkeyes caught the Badgers in a blitz and ran a perfectly executed draw play. Greene went untouched for 52 yards and his 3rd touchdown.

11:20am So there were just offsetting penalties on a punt…and I’m pretty sure the refs messed that one up, because they moved the Badgers back 15 yards. Which is wrong if the penalties are offsetting. Either way, some guy named Paki just blocked the punt…and Brad Nortman’s miserable freshman season continues. Excellent.

11:23am IT’S OFFICIAL…the wheels have come off of Bucky’s Bandwagon. Play action with a ridiculous 1-handed catch by a big TE for the Hawkeyes. One move and he’s taking it to the house. 28-9 Iowa.

11:27am Josh Oglesby…welcome to college football. I know you were thrown into the LT position by an injury to Carimi…but please try to get a hand on someone…anyone. Two plays in a row, you got beat off the edge without touching the guy…not good.

END 3rd Quarter 28-9 Iowa. This one is pretty much Britney’s career right now. The wheels came off, you know it’s over, but there is part of you that won’t give up hope on that epic comeback. I hate that part of myself right now.

11:41am Sherer stares down Beckum on 3rd down for the 84th time today…aaaaannnnddd picked. Anyone surprised?

11:46am Obama 3 positive ads, McCain 2 negative ads

11:47am Christina Aguilera just made another hit record to rub it in Britney’s face…. Errrr, Shonn Greene just ran for his 4thTouchdown today. 35-9 Iowa. Anyone that wants to tackle him today is welcome to join the Badgers.

11:51am Sherer stares down Beckum…Pat Angerer picks him off. Where have I seen this before? By the way, Pat Angerer, Iowa’s MLB, is having himself a GAME! 16 tackles and two picks so far. I’m sure there is some joke about being angry right here, but I’m too dejected to think of it. Where’s my drink?

11:58am Field Goal…38-9 Iowa. Obama 4 positive ads, McCain 2 negative ads. Tolzien in the game, white flag waved. And as I say that…Zach Brown Touchdown. Granted he carved up the backups for Iowa, but good for him. He’s been forgotten with the success of Clay, and he’s reminding the coaches why he’s a valuable commodity. 38-16 Iowa.

FINAL 38-16 Iowa. Shonn Greene went for over 200 yards and 4 TDs. Pat Angerer had 16 tackles and 2 INTs. I’m gonna go out on a limb and name them the players of the game. Wisconsin continues its downward spiral, dropping to 0-4 in conference play and 3-4 overall. Iowa wins two conference games in a row for the first time in a while. Obama outspent McCain 2-1, but McCain went all negative and Obama was all positive. Shonne Greene gave his O-line props during the postgame interview, and rightfully so, he wasn’t touched very often today.