FNT: Friday Night Trashtalk

Buckingham: Well Hello there WildHawk...you ready to get this Friday Night Trashtalk going?
WildHawk: Let's do it
Buckingham: Alright, so basically this is going to be a semi-regular segment on the blog where we take a look at all the Saturday games, and talk trash to each other/fans of the teams. No holds barred, cage-match style. Witty banter and jokes are welcome.
WildHawk: Old-school rules?
Buckingham: 1 rule...there are no rules…except for rule #2, which is limit the swearing...we're part of the Yardbarker Network now!
WildHawk: Noted
Buckingham: And on that note...f*ck Iowa. Just kidding, we'll get to that later.

INDIANA @ ILLINOIS

Buckingham: Let's start her off with some easy targets here...Indiana @ Illinois. Go...
WildHawk: Well Indiana just plain sucks, and Illannoy only plays offense (plus doesn't have a coach, only a head recruiting coordinator)
Buckingham: Tru dat...I mean, I just plain feel bad for making fun of Indiana.
WildHawk: Yeah, sorta like staring at a freak on the sidewalk.
Buckingham: If you were the only fan left on earth, and you had to pick a football coach for your team, and the only two options were Bill Lynch or a bumb off the street...who do you pick? … I go with option C...none of the above. I'd rather have anarchy on the team than either of those two options.
WildHawk: …or D, get rid of the football program altogether. Only problem this year is they don't have basketball to fall back on.
Buckingham: Thank you Kelvin Sampson!!
WildHawk: With Sampson, they traded one season with a good player for the entire program. But I digress…
Buckingham: Illinois is going to put up about 500 yards of offense in this game, but then they'll sadly realize that Juice is still their quarterback and that Mendenhall hates their program. There is nothing like alienating your best NFL prospect in ages as soon as he steps off campus.
WildHawk: How hard would it have been to keep his brother on the team? Hell, I bet he could start on defense (and he was a RB, no?)
Buckingham: That is cooorrrreeeccct! Winner of this game?
WildHawk: Illannoy, but even Illini fans won't be able to be cocky after.
Buckingham: Agreed...Illini W this week.

PURDUE @ NORTHWESTERN

Buckingham: Moving on...Purdue at Northwestern?
WildHawk: Purdue is a mess with a lame-duck coach, but the Cats never throw a ball more than 5 yards.
Buckingham: I've heard mustaches aren't very popular in Evanston except on women...so Tiller could be in trouble. Curtis Painter probably more...that Wildcat defense should be coming after him.
WildHawk: I hope so. Plus Purdue's D is no good. I like Northwestern by default....but closer than it should be.
Buckingham: Yeah, I have a feeling that lame-ass Wildcat noise that every college in the country who has "cats" in their name uses will be played often.
WildHawk: Fact. Also, is it just me, or is Tiller playing a sick joke on Painter, surrounding him with no one? I always thought Painter was overrated, but this is cruel.
Buckingham: I wrote about this before, but Tiller is just straight up being a dick. How many years ago do you think he stopped caring?
WildHawk: Funny how 3 years ago, when they were going to have 2 straight years without OSU or Michigan, they started to blow, despite decent talent and hype (also, as of last year, I could change the school in question to Iowa for this and I'd still have a good point).
Buckingham: I'm guessing that you're taking the Cats...but what's the over/under on passes thrown within 5 yards of the line of scrimmage?
WildHawk: I'm guessing CJ will throw about 35 times, 25 of which will be either behind the line or within 5 yards, this despite 3 senior WRs and a line that hasn't given-up many sacks.
Buckingham: I'll put the over/under at 30 combined passes within 5 yards.
WildHawk: under...barely
Buckingham: Cats take this one with their defense.
WildHawk: Agreed.

MICHIGAN @ PENN STATE

WildHawk: How about scUM/PSU?
Buckingham: PSU....147....Michigan....0
WildHawk: Sounds like Ditka will be suiting-up for Paterno, but seriously, my crystal ball says this will be another embarrassment for the Wolverines.
Buckingham: At this point, if Michigan has less than 4 turnovers in any game...it should be considered a success. Do you think they can set a record for worst turnover margin in NCAA history?
WildHawk: Perhaps. I just hope none of them die.
Buckingham: Don't talk about Paterno like that WildHawk...he's young at heart.
WildHawk: Hahahaha. Sigh.
Buckingham: I'm gonna say that Paterno will be asleep by the mid-3rd quarter...and Rich Rod will be on the phone with his agent looking for an escape route.

OHIO STATE @ MICHIGAN STATE

Buckingham: Do you think Michigan State will crumble this week? (note: I couldn't even type that without chuckling a bit in anticipation of your response)
WildHawk: Of course
Buckingham: Letdown. I was hoping for something along the lines of...Does a bear shit in the woods? Does Charlie Weis refuse to pass up an all-you-can-eat at the OCB? Is Lindsey gonna relapse before she realizes going lesbian is only awesome if your partner is hot?
WildHawk: I should hire you as a ghostwriter; those are pretty good. Let's be honest, they barely beat an Iowa team at home who was playing like they were trying to lose. They're simply not that good. I hate OSU, but they have a defense and a better coach. Ringer won't have 100 yards, and OSU will win by more than people think.
Buckingham: Yeah, I'm loving all the "not this October" articles popping up right now. Here's the thing about Sparty...they need to flop in a big game before the slide starts. This is really their first big game/opportunity to provide us with comedic material.
WildHawk: And you know what, even if Iowa and Northwestern take it in the neck tomorrow, I'll still laugh my ass off.
Buckingham: oh absolutely...how could you not? I've been saving up "money-maker" jokes all year for this game…but it'll be even better when Michigan beats them the next week. Granted I can't talk much, but it'll still be good.
WildHawk: And that's why I love college football. Anyone can root for their team, but it takes a real fan to hate certain teams with the same passion.
Buckingham: Who ya got?
WildHawk: Kidding? Gimme the Buckeyes
Buckingham: I'll take MSU in the first 25 minutes of the game...and the Suckeyes doubling Sparty's point total in the last 35
WildHawk: Interesting. I respect the detailed pick.

WISCONSIN @ IOWA

Buckingham: So I guess that leaves only one game left...which team is gonna suck more on Saturday...yours or mine?
WildHawk: Beats me. I'd say it's 50/50. Last time you guys had a QB making his first start against Iowa, Donovan torched us.
Buckingham: True...but we also have a QB on our roster that beat out Sherer in spring/fall camp...yet made every Badger fan long for Tyler Donovan. I feel dirty just typing that.
WildHawk: Sick. I think it's simple: win the turnover battle, win the game.
Buckingham: The bad news for you is that we have a guy named John Clay who is a sexy piece of man meat. And no, I don't regret typing that…my man-crush is that great.
WildHawk: ...and he almost picked-up the Iowa hat!
Buckingham: Still stings a little doesn't it?
WildHawk: I dunno, I'm happy with Shonn and Jewel Hampton (a real diamond in the rough...whammy)
Buckingham: I thought you'd bring up the Jewel of every Hawks-eye (stretching on that one)
WildHawk: I'll accept it.
Buckingham: Can we just talk about something else though...underage drinking! More specifically getting caught for it, and pissing off your parents…even more specifically, pissing off your dad/football coach.
WildHawk: Yikes, now the youngest Ferentz. Ouch.
Buckingham: Did you see that press release Kirk put out today?
WildHawk: No, good?
Buckingham: I mean, my dad would be mad...but this took it to a whole new level. I can not even imagine how much hell his life is going to be for the next six weeks. There are punishment press releases that coaches put out that seem like they're really not worried (see Zook, Ron), and then there is the press release that all parents probably wish they could put out when their kid does something stupid. Kirk had that chance, and unlike Iowa's offense, did not waste it.
WildHawk: At least he isn't overpaid. (Sidenote: So Zook doesn't suspend guys who hit women?)
Buckingham: (Nope, bitches should know that when the Zooker gets poked in the eye, he won't be as nice as Eddie McGee.) Back to the topic...if either team has to go to the untrustworthy left-handed backup QB...who wins?
WildHawk: Wisconsin…no question. Jake isn't a D1 QB, plain and simple.
Buckingham: Wasn't he the savior of the program as a redshirt frosh? That turned out well for you. So, who wins if the starting QB's stay alive?
WildHawk: If he's the savior, then I'm Mickey Mouse. I like Iowa, obviously. Regardless, it's gonna be close.
Buckingham: I'm taking my Badgers. Unless the fat-ass (PJ) plays too much, then we're screwed. Actually, I got a 4 in the college pick'em last week, so we're probably screwed anyways if I'm picking the Badgers. Either way, it's gonna be an old school Big Televen football game, and it'll be great to watch.
WildHawk: Hahaha, sadly I didn't win a week for the first time in a while. That being said, I can honestly say I respect Wisky...one of the only non-Iowa/NU Big10 teams I don't despise.
Buckingham: Ditto for Iowa.

Wow...we suck at talking trash.

Criminal Comedy Hour

Well, it's about that time of year again...when players on disappointing teams start getting in trouble with the law because they've lost focus on their season. It happens almost every year to teams that aren't performing as well as they were supposed to...and this year it happens to be Michigan and Illinois. So here you go, the Criminal Comedy Hour courtesy of F&BT.

How do you know the Michigan Hockey Team absolutely sucks? Even the Wolverine football team can beat them. Allegedly.

What do you tell a woman lying on the floor? Nothing...Eddie McGee already told her once, and then threw her down. Bitches should know not to poke a man in the eye...it hurts.

Doth Mine Eyes Deceive Me? - a macro/micro view of Michigan Football

I never liked Lloyd Carr. Despite somehow always being on the good side of every Big10 officiating crew, the guy would whine and bitch like crazy...all the time. Regardless of my dislike, I did respect the UM program. Plus, Ann Arbor is a great town, and the Big House is a must see for any Big10 fan. With the arrival of RichRod though, I no longer respect Michigan.

The Rodriguez hire, in my opinion, seems eerily similar to IU's bball hire of Kelvin Sampson, and we all know how that turned out. Sure, Rodriguez wasn't actually on NCAA probation when lured to the Big10, but he was a known scumbag. Let's not forget, even before his incredible kickoff return in the US Army All American game, every college in the country coveted Noel Devine. And, even though it looked like he'd have to go to prep school because he couldn't qualify, somehow he magically ended-up at West Virginia.

I talked with my brother (a scUM alum), and he feels a tough-to-describe, but nonetheless bad feeling about the state of Wolverine football. True, this is most certainly a rebuilding year, but come on, Toledo, a sub .500 MAC team...at home. Michigan lost a lot of quality players last year, and the new spread attack just doesn't feel like their style. Combined with the fact that I don't see RichRod lasting too long in Ann Arbor, I think scUM will become the Miami or Florida State of the Big10, a once-storied program that's lost its identity. Sure, they'll win some big games in the next few years, but I just don't think it'll be the Michigan we've known and respected over the last couple decades. [Having said all this, I still prefer Michigan over Illannoy]

The Journey: I'm starting to See a Trend

So I've finally caught up watching Illinois Football: The Journey episodes from about the last four weeks. That's the beauty of DVR...that my laziness doesn't punish me. Well, at least not always. And in this case, I actually think my DVR is rewarding me. By watching all the episodes one after the other, I've started to pick up a few trends in the show:

1) J Leman is a certifiable BTN STAR! I know that I've posted about his appearances on the show before, but he has taken it one step further and shown slow white guys everywhere what a magical Rose Bowl season can do for them. I mean seriously...no one has capitalized on the Illini's Rose Bowl run more than J Leman. He went from a no-name outside Chambana to a national name and now a college football gig at the BTN. At first, I made fun of him for it, but after consulting blog friend Whetst1, I realized that it was good for J. He's not making the NFL, so he might as well move on. Now, if he could only get a haircut and a suit that fits...he'd be in business.

2) Ron Zook is pretty much awesome. After watching this show, who wouldn't want to play for this guy? He comes across as genuine as can be, shockingly intelligent, and certifiably bad-ass. The guy has a motor that doesn't stop, and you can tell that there isn't much in life that gets him down. Plus, he can water-ski with the best of them, and that's double points in my book.

But probably the most important reason that my laziness in watching the show has been a reward, is that watching all the shows in a row has allowed me to see...

3) Intensity has been a consistent problem for the Illini. It's a fact with this team. Every show that has gone into the locker room before a game or at halftime has shown coaches 100x more fired up than the players. Every week, they are harping on them to get their intensity up, and get their passion to higher levels. Watching 3 or 4 episodes in a row, it seems to me that this is a team that forgot where the program was two years ago. Loaded with young talent that didn't suffer through the 2-9 seasons, this Illini team seems like they forgot all the work that went into last year's Rose Bowl season. The energy isn't there. The passion isn't there. The fire isn't there. And not shockingly, the wins aren't there. If I had watched all those episodes before the Illinois vs. Minnesota game, well, let's just say I would've scored better than the 4/50 I did in the F&BT College Pick'Em Challenge this week.

Ruminations on Week 7

The hangover was something fierce on Saturday, but at least I wasn't alone. The entire Wisconsin team looked like the last two emotional losses had caught up to them as the Nittany Lions embarrassed them on national television. I took solace in the fact that my buddy Fuzz was having a worse day than me...he attended the Arkansas at Auburn game where his first team lost; he watched the Badgers get embarrassed by Penn State for the second year in a row, and Mizzou got upset by a team coached by a man who is 40. Rough day for sure...drink it off Fuzz, and remember that next week is only 7 days away.

Here are my other ruminations on week 7 in the Big Ten:

1) The Spread HD is an elite offense this year. According to Lil' Bro #1, it's even better in person. The one question mark heading into the season was the quarterback position, and Daryll Clark has provided answer after answer. He looks like the most dynamic player in the offense and is the reason the Spread HD runs so clearly. Sure, the Big 12 has some great offenses and the SEC has some great athletes...but Penn State's offense can run with the best of them this year.

2) Minnesota didn't get the message. They were supposed to be terrible this year, but apparently no one told the Gophers. Yours truly even picked them to go winless in the Big Ten. Yet here they stand, 2-1 in conference games and bowl eligible 7 weeks into the season. Props to Timmay! and his Gophers. You did to Illinois what the Illini did to the Big Ten last year, and you've earned the respect of the conference, and this blogger, in doing so.

3) Sparty isn't sliding this October. Not yet at least. In the most important game of the Big Ten last week, Michigan State again rode the money-makers of Javon Ringer over an undefeated Northwestern on the road. Ringer wasn't alone this week though, as Brian Hoyer showed some veteran savvy and poise that gave Michigan State's offense a much needed second dimension. Ohio State looms on the horizon as MSU has one of the biggest October home games in recent history next week.

4) How did we lose to them? Really Michigan? Really? You're going to let a bad Toledo team do that to you in your house? How did this team beat Wisconsin? Things have certainly hit rock bottom in Ann Arbor as Michigan can't seem to put things together yet. Worse yet, they have yet to show any significant improvement from the start of the season. Other than a great 2nd half against Wisconsin (which will haunt Brett Bielema for a long time), Michigan really has yet to play consistent football.

The Mailbag is Answered!

I'm finally getting around to answering the Mailbag question posed by friend of F&BT Ross Gellar a few weeks ago after Wisconsin's monumental loss to Michigan.

Ross' Question: Which team in the Big Ten has been the most disappointing over the last 5 years?

I wanted to give myself some space from the game as I knew I would be highly emotional about the Badgers for a few weeks, and I was right. Immediately, I was all about Ross' logic: he did some research, his argument made sense, I was vulnerable and impressionable (drunk), and most of all...I had lived almost all those losses as a student.

And after thinking about it for a few weeks, I can't say that the Badgers have been the most disappointing since 2003. Sure, it has been tough being a Badger fan and being so close, but not as bad as it has been for others. Think about it for a second. Would you rather be OSU or Michigan, and get to a big bowl game only to get embarrassed? That would suck just as much. Trust me, the Badgers have been fortunate to win their bowl games, and winning that last game does wonders for the mood of players, coaches, and fans alike throughout the offseason. Plus, they have won 47 games from 2003-2007. So that's my argument against the Badgers.

Here are a few other schools I looked at:

MICHIGAN: I thought they had to have some disappointing seasons over the last few years. The Alamo Bowl year came to mind, and I thought there had to be others. But I was wrong. Michigan is 46-17 over the last 5 years. Only once did they win less than 9 games, when they went to the Alamo Bowl with 7 wins. It turns out that Michigan just suffered from the Ohio State Syndrome...pulling Suck-Jobs in bowl games.

PURDUE: They always seem to fade in the years they are supposed to be good, or at least towards the end of Orton's career at Purdon't. But the more I thought about it, are expectations at Purdue really that high that they can be utterly disapointed every year? No, they're not. Purdue is 37-26 over the last 5 years, including 21-19 in the Big Televen. I'd say that's where Purdue fans should expect them to be, thus they shouldn't be disappointed.

IOWA: If this question were only about the last 3 years, Iowa takes this title running away (...from the cops!). Sure, they're only 1 game over .500 in the last three years. Yes, they were supposed to have excellent recruiting classes that should have been paying off right about now. Absolutely, those classes have been decimated by off-the-field incidents and injury. But as bad as it has been the last three years for Iowa, they had great years in '03 and '04, with a 20-5 record in that time. The Hawkeyes are 23-17 in the BT the last 5 years, which isn't great, but certainly not the most disapointing in the last 5 years.

And the most disappointing team in the Big Ten over the last five years is....

MICHIGAN STATE!

Congratulations Sparty, you've got an award courtesy of F&BT. I know WildHawk is loving this right now, as MSU is his most despised team in the conference. And you know what, even if I were an MSU fan over the last five years...they'd be my most despised team too. There are no two ways about it, it's been rough being a Spartan fan since 2003. Your recruiting is always fairly decent, plenty of HS talent resides in your state, you always open the season with some creampuff victories, optimism resides in your heart....and then the wheels come off. Next thing you know John L. Smith is yelling at Jack Arute, you blow a couple games, and your headed to the Alamo Bowl...or no bowl at all, as was the case in 2004-6. Seriously Sparty? The only 2 bowl games you've been to in the last 5 years is the Alamo Bowl ('03) and the Champs Sports Bowl ('07). You lost both times.


Yes, being a Spartan fan has been rough. You're 29-32 over the last five years, and even worse, you're 15-25 in Big Ten games. 10 games under .500!! To top it all off, Big Brother instate rival has enjoyed a good deal of success on the other side of the state. Basically, being a Michigan State fan is like being any other female sideline reporter not named Erin Andrews. Erin is Michigan, you're anybody else. You'll never be as good looking, and while they are enjoying unparralled success, you're toiling at some mediocre football game that few people are watching. Probably a Michigan State game.

This One Time on the Band Bus...

Is it me, or does the Wisconsin Marching Band make you think that all those band camp stories from the American Pie movies are pretty much dead on? The letter sent out by the school this week verified what we all knew was probably true...people got drunk and stupid on a bus like college kids do, and someone shockingly got offended. This isn't a post to make fun of the offended party...we're not that mean. No, F&BT merely wants to highlight the stupidity of the band members. As fun as the trip may have been, any time you have to start a story with, "This one time, on the band bus...", you should probably just quit talking right there. Unless you're as hot as Alyson Hannigan....then you may continue of course.

Alas, the 5th Quarter will be happening this Saturday night, as the band has been reinstated. And if you think about it, Brett Bielema has got to be the happiest person on earth. Of the two major home games which would be recruiting target weekends, to not have a band at either game, which adds an incredible amount of electricity to the stadium and makes the students exponentially more engaged in the game, would have been disastrous. Props to Mike Leckrone and Lori Berquam for getting the band back on the field.

Another Reason I Love College Football: "We're Still Pretty Good!"

So WildHawks had 3 posts yesterday...count 'em...Uno, Dos, 3. Are you kidding me? This guy hasn't posted in weeks, and all of a sudden...Boom! I won't lie that he was about to get fired next week if he didn't post. I didn't want to have to do it, but my inner Donald Trump had been tugging at me for a while. And then there he was, with three posts in one day. Ladies and Gentlemen, he's back.



"Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this....and TOTALLY redeem yourself!"




One of WildHawks' posts made me chuckle at first, and then I realized that he was right, and it was one of the reasons I love college football. His post about Iowa football, and that he thinks they're still pretty good. I mean think about that, they're still pretty good?! They're 3-3 overall and 0-2 in a mediocre conference and their biggest win is against...Iowa State?


Yet there goes WildHawks, proclaiming that they're still pretty good. And you know what? He's right. And that's what I love about college football. As a diehard fan, don't you find yourself rooting for your team no matter what? Don't you continue to see the great plays and block the bad ones from your memories? Every time your team takes that field, there's no chance they don't live up to their potential and probably dominate that game right? I know that's how I feel. I know that's how a lot of college football fans feel. We're blinded by our love for our team, and for better or worse, we're going to always view them through those team-color tinted glasses. It's a beautiful sight.


That's the thing about college football, every team is dangerous on any given week. Sure, throughout the course of the season, talent will most likely rise to the top. But for 3 hours on a Saturday, Oregon State is better than USC. Michigan is better than Wisconsin. Duke is better than anybody. Vanderbilt can beat Auburn (and get their O-coordinator fired after 6 games). Even at 3-3, Iowa is a scary football team. I know I'm not looking forward to playing them. They run the ball well, they have a great D-Line, and they are built schematically to stop teams like my Badgers. As terrible as their record is, Iowa will always be a tough game for Wisconsin, because their styles are so similar.


And that's why I love college football. A mediocre team can be a terrible matchup for a great team, and that great team may well come crumbling down. People thought last year and all the upsets was crazy and once in a lifetime. I thought it was awesome and expect it to happen again this year.

Why? Because at 3-2 and 0-2 in the Big Ten, my Badgers should be done for the season, but I also think we're still pretty good! And through these Cardinal Red glasses I'm wearing...their game against Penn State this week is going to be a beautiful sight.

F&BT Pick'em

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm pretty good at this. I mean, the numbers speak for themselves. Whammy.

















Grail Knight: "You have chosen wisely"


On that note: 3 posts in a row! I'm on a roll baby!

Finally, A Northwestern Post!!!

Please, contain yourselves. I know everyone's been on the edge of their seats, craving some purple love....well, the wait is over. Let's talk Wildcat football:

Off to their best start since 1962, the Northwestern Wildcats still aren't getting a lot of respect. And despite my loyalty to the Cats, I think this is justified. I won't say I expected them to be undefeated at this point (I thought they'd lose in Iowa City), but I'm also not at all surprised with this start. Let's face it, Northwestern hasn't played anyone (Duke is improved, but still Duke, and a W at Iowa doesn't mean what it used to). Having said that, this week should be big. Because a lot of media-types love the idea of fellating Michigan State, this will be the perfect game to spring the Wildcats onto the national stage.

Thanks to an improved defense, the Wildcats are no longer completely dependant on a high-scoring offense. Mike Hankwitz has done wonders in his first year as DC (sidenote: thanks for firing him Bielema). At this point, the Purple Nation is just waiting for the offense to catch-up. With a bye-week behind them, the Cats had time to heal and sharpen their claws. I look forward to them pouncing on Sparty. Mark my words, the offense will have that clicking moment sometime in the next couple games, at which point Northwestern will shock the conference (nay, the nation) on their way to the Outback Bowl. [I also predicted my Cubs would play in the World Series, so take this one with a grain of salt]

My 100% Bias Post: I Still Think Iowa's Pretty Good

While watching (or attending) every Hawkeye game this year, I can't help but think the team is pretty good. However, a couple days after the game I wonder if I'm totally nuts. Here's what I know so far:

1. Stanzi > Christensen. Sure, Ricky needs some time to develop, but there's no doubt he has a far greater upside than Jake.
2. Shonn Greene is a beast. If he is healthy, he could be the best back in the Big10.
3. The Hawkeyes have played well enough to be 6-0 (3 losses by 9 points combined is tough to stomach)
4. Turnovers and Red Zone Inefficiency will kill a team's momentum, confidence, and record.

Thinking about this team makes me feel like Ed Norton in Fight Club or Bruce Willis in 12 Monkeys, constantly questioning my sanity. Obviously, after a 3-3 start, I've got to re-think my initial projections. I can honestly see this team winning-out if they can take care of the goddam ball in the red zone. But, who knows, that could be crazy-talk. Maybe they won't win another game.

PS - Last week's game did nothing to improve my opinion of Michigan State. I still think they're the most consistently overrated team in the Big10 and maybe the nation (possible contenders are Clemson and Arizona State). I have no respect for MSU, and I'll take that to my grave. Remember Rob Lowe's plan to "stop the trucks...stop Tommy Boy", well, without a Javon Ringer freakout, MSU is not a nationally ranked team. In fact, they're incredibly mediocre. Stop Javon Ringer...stop Sparty!

Ruminations on Week 6

Another week...another brutal Wisconsin loss that I don't want to talk about. It's a good thing that plenty of other things happened this week for me to discuss. Here are my ruminations on Week 6 of Big Ten play:

1) Quarterbacks, Quarterbacks, Quarterbacks. Where to start with these guys this week? The Juice got loose, Terrelle became a man, and Darryl Clark did what he does. Even Brian Hoyer made some plays on Saturday. On the opposite end, Curtis Painter found his way to the bench in the second half against Penn State and Allan Evridge tried his hardest to get there. Tell me who predicted that both Todd Boeckman and Curtis Painter, the most experience/hyped QB's in the league would both be on the bench during Week 6 games?

2) Timmay! has a W. The Minnesota Golden Gophers have their first conference win of the Tim Brewster era after scraping past Indiana on Saturday. Brewster has himself a stud in Eric Decker and the defense is much improved under the Ted Roof (see what I did there? under the roof? yep, been saving that one). Granted, Indiana has regressed faster than Michael Richard's stand-up career, but a win is a win is a win. And for Timmay!, it's a first in the Big Ten.

3) Tiller is different on his way out. If you Joey T wasn't retiring this year and he still had recruits, high school coaches, etc. to please, do you think Curtis Painter gets benched in the second half last week? Do you think Tiller even talks about benching him the week before even though he didn't? I sure don't. I know from some good sources that Tiller and Kyle Orton had some major differences is style during Orton's senior year (Orton thought they were too conservative and was vocal about it...real vocal). Yet Orton never saw the bench, even though Tiller could barely stand him by the end of the season and Purdue's season had spiraled downward. If Tiller was retiring do you think Orton sees the bench? I'd bet on yes.

4) Alright, let's talk about it. Props to Ohio State this week, and especially Terrelle Pryor and Beanie Wells. Those two are a potent combination that rival any combo in the nation. But this rumination isn't about them, it's about my Badgers. This defeat was bad, but not as bad as last week. They were competitive, even Beanie came out and said he had never been hit so consistently hard on every play throughout a game, and they gave the UW faithful a great, albeit disappointing, show on Saturday night. I can live with losses like this....oh who am I kidding? That sucked. It leaves the Badgers staring at 0-2 in the Big Ten with arguably the league's best team coming next week. The biggest challenge of the season for the coaches could be to keep this team motivated...clips from last year's PSU debacle should help.

Straight Cash Homey!

Lee Evans is getting P-A-I-D. The former Badger wide receiver and current Buffalo Bill just signed a 4-year $37M deal to remain with the Bills, and be the 3rd highest paid receiver in the league. Evans is a Badger favorite and happens to be immortalized in the Wisconsin Football Offices to this day. As you get off the elevator to enter the Football Offices, you're greeted by a large picture of Evans running up the tunnel after a game with his arms spread, kind of like those old Michael Jordan posters, giving high fives to the students as he leaves the field. All the students are in black and white and Evans' uniform and helmet are in color. It's an awesome sight.

He also happens to be part of the second best Wisconsin football play that I've ever seen in person. The first is the Scott Starks fumble for a touchdown at Purdue in 2004. But Schabert-to-Evans on that beautiful out n' up in the rainy Madison night is a very close second. For all you Badger fans looking for a pick-me-up after the game last week, check out this story from Jim Polzin at the Capital Times which looks back at the last time Ohio State came to Madison.

After reading that, aren't you just fired up for Saturday night?

We've Got Ourselves A MAILBAG!!

Pop the champagne...we've got a mailbag folks! Our first ever question came from my college buddy "Ross Gellar". Now, typically, the way mailbags work is that someone asks us a question and we answer it...but every blog does that. I'm going to try and change this up a bit, and pose all questions to you...my 15 readers. Use the comments section to let me know your answer! And if you want to be heard in this blog or have a question of your own...email me at firstandbigten@gmail.com!!

Ross' Question: Which team in the Big Ten has been the most disappointing over the last 5 years?

F&BT fans...I want to know what you think. Look for my answer to this question in the near future, but in the meantime...give Ross' answer to his own question a little thought. Forewarning, Ross Gellar is a Badger fan and sent this in on Saturday after Michigan did something terrible to the Badgers. Enjoy.

Ross' Answer:
There are so many ways to subjectively consider this question. Look at some of the worst performing teams over the past 5 years and you could say that Indiana or Northwestern have been the most disappointing. Minnesota's 1-11 season last year was terrible and disappointing for their fans. And certainly, Ohio State laying two eggs in the last two national championship games is disappointing for the entire Big Ten. Those are persuasive arguments.

But how is Wisconsin simply not the most disappointing program in the last five years. In 2005, this team lost to Northwestern and then had two, count 'em, two opportunities to go to the Rose Bowl. Both were losses in back to back weeks to Penn State and Iowa. The year before that it was the same story. Go to Michigan State and win and you go to Pasadena at worst. In consecutive weeks they choked!

And the 2003 team underperformed its way to 7-6 record.

Last year, the team was ranked in the top 5 (admittedly way overrated, but isn't not living up to a high ranking the definition of sports disappointment?) and lost in a cataclysmic manner in Illinois. Then they got waxed in State College the next week. Show you are a second-class citizen in the Big Ten by losing to Ohio State and you have yourself a berth in the Outback Bowl (which you lose to a declining program in Tennessee). Fantastic.

Today's loss to Michigan is really just a continuation of the past 4 years. This team was given a golden opportunity...a loss by OSU opened the door for them to beat a down Michigan team then have the Big Ten's other best teams at their place. But, in typical Wisconsin fashion, we can't win the big game.

You might interject right now, haven't they won 3 Rose Bowls in the last 15 years? Yes that's true. But we haven't sniffed the Rose or any other BCS bowl since the 1999 season. Every time we have, we have had a massive meltdown. So, I don't define disappointment as being terrible (Indiana, Northwestern or Minnesota) or getting to a championship game and then choking. Hey, at least Buckeye fans got to spend their December's under the (misguided) belief that they had a championship caliber team on their hands! With the Badgers, we are good enough to have the opportunities but never quite good enough to actually seize them.

That's why, in my opinion, the University of Wisconsin has been the most disappointing program in the Big Ten in the last 5 years. And don't get me started with why...I think it boils down to not having a playmaker at the most important position on the field. Sorgi, Stocco, Donovan, Evridge....game manager, game manager, game manager. Give me someone who can win the big game, not just get me there!!!

An Oddysey: Recapping the Big Televen's Progress in Changing the National Perception

I can't say that it was a good run through the non-conference schedule for the Big Ten Conference, but to borrow the motto of my old boss, "It could be worse!"

Let's recap the steps I thought the 11 Big Ten teams needed to take to improve the image of the conference:
1) Win the games you should ABSOLUTELY Win.
2) Win the games you are supposed to Win.
3) Beat Notre Dame.
4) Win MOST of the BCS Buster games.
5) Be Competitive in the Marquis Matchups.
6) Represent in the bowls.

Step #6 can't be accomplished until after the season, but as the non-conference schedule pretty much finishes up, I see a lot of lost opportunities for the Big Ten.

Step #1: Win the game you should ABSOLUTELY Win. CHECK. No Appalachian State this year. No North Dakota State this year. Good job on this one.

Step #2: Win the games you are supposed to Win. Almost a CHECK. The only hiccup here was Indiana's loss to Ball State. However, it can be somewhat disregarded in this category as Ball State is a significantly improved team this year and is actually undefeated right now. So, I will consider this part of Step #4 the BCS Busters. Witht that, Step #2 is a CHECK.

Step #3: Beat Notre Dame...FAILED. Let's face it, Notre Dame still isn't a great football team. Clausen isn't fully matured, their two-deep depth chart is littered with freshman, and Charlie Weis is still fat and sucks. But they absolutely embarrassed Michigan and Purdue this year, and that speaks volumes about the Big Ten's depth and competitiveness this year. The worst part is that this isn't the biggest failure of the Big Ten this non-conference season.

Step #4: Win MOST of the BCS Busters games...3-2 record...CHECK. Well, 3-3 if you count the Ball State beatdown of Indiana. However, UW beat Fresno, Iowa beat Iowa State, and Penn State dominated Oregon State. Iowa was even competitive at Pitt, although it turns out Pitt is a terrible team this year again. Michigan was embarrassed by Utah, and let's just move on...this step was a relative highlight for the Big Ten.

Step #5: Be competitive in the Marquis Matchups...FAILED. Sure, MSU was competitive at Cal, and Purdue took Oregon to the wire in overtime. The problem with those two games is that both could've and probably should've been wins...especially the Purdue game. You can't blow a 20-3 lead and consider it a success. The other major this step was a failure was that the most recognizable team in the conference laid an egg in a primetime game...again. USC absolutely embarrassed OSU in the colisseum, and the whole country watched.

So, looking back on the non-conference slate, I've got to give the Big Ten a C+ for their progress. The good news is that they took care of business in the games they should have won, and they managed their BCS Buster games relatively well. The big thing that has held them back is the primetime games. As long as Notre Dame plays on NBC and beats the Big Ten...as long as OSU keeps flopping on big stages...as long as Big Ten teams continue to lose non-conference games played at 8 EST on ABC...they won't gain too much ground in their oddsey back to respectability.

But in my old boss' words..."It could be worse!" The Big Ten could be the Big East or the ACC...that's just terrible football right there.